The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
