My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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