I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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