things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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