we're blogging at a bar
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize