Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize