Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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