Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he was CRYING into my vagina
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
