I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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