just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
