Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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