The best revenge is premature balding
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
