we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
