the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
porn star boner night. come get it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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