In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
