U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
