i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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