All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dick very happy bro
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
