Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
where does the pee come out of this thing
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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