No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
he just fucked me for my cheese..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
