I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
