wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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