My first STD was from a foam party
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
