This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize