My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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