nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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