On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
