Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
