its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
