I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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