at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
