What did we do last night that was yellow?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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