i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
