I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
