In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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