not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
