my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
