i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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