I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
