dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
