before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
As shirtless as possible
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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