i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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