Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
