with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
