i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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