Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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