hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
