Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
