I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
