Do you still have your period?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
