i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize