i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Randomize
