just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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