we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
