I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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