sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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