Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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