1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
