also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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