My sheets look like a crime scene.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
