Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My pussy is not your playground.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
