I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
