Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
