I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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