Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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