You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
